humour

mail.dsrw.org: The time-warped mail server

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The mail system

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Date: Tue, 20 May 2003 00:01:57 +1000
From: Stuart Longland < me @longlandclan.hopto.org>

Yaay for timely bounce messages. Let’s see now… sent 20th May 2003, received 6th November, 2007… That is over 4 years and 5 months, for a bounce message. What are they using for an internet connection, RFC1149??  This is back in the days when I ran Debian/MIPS on my Indy, prior to me trying Gentoo.  And back in the days when my internal network used the 192.168.0.0/24 CIDR (I now use 10.0.0.0/24 for my boxes).

Sydney APEC Meeting Roundup

The following is a satirical piece regarding the APEC saga last week. I’m considering whether I put it in vodcast form on YouTube for our dear PM — but for now, I’ll just put the transcript up.


Well, it seems Sydney drew the short straw, and thus got the joy of almost completely shutting down while some high-brow politicians go gather to discuss trade and other issues. All this, whilst at the same time dealing with a betting industry which is sounding rather hoarse at the moment. Well, what do you expect when they shut the stable doors after the horse-flu bolted?

I must admit, I’m glad I live in Brisbane… 1000km away from all the hassles. We’re largely insulated from all the hassles playing out down south. That said, the local media has been doing a good job of letting us know what’s been happening down there.  It as been interesting to see what these politicians bring with them in their travels. Most of us, when we go abroad, we bring clothing, whatever papers, etc we need… in general, we’re careful to not pack too much. Not the United States of America it seems. The US President turned up with a 800-strong entourage.

Here’s hoping he didn’t forget the kitchen sink. The strategic placement of one rather large bird over at Brisbane Airport was genius too — I mean, have you ever tried to get up the Pacific Motorway in a hurry? If WW3 came knocking, it’d be at least a day before they’d get over the border — then there’s the Gateway Motorway traffic to contend with. They’d be sitting ducks stuck in one of Brisbane’s most prestigious parking lots.

George Bush is off to a great start, right in the opening speech, he welcomes everyone to the OPEC meeting. Well, it’s good to see that Operation Iraqi Liberation (OIL) hasn’t been far from a certain president’s mind. For a world leader though, it’s a shame he didn’t pay more attention to his geography teacher at school. Do I look like an Austrian to you? Hmmm?

Osama Bin Ladin … apparentlyThe Chaser’s APEC passes — an obvious fakeSecurity has been tight though… I mean really tight. The only people allowed through are those dressed up like Osama Bin Ladin, or those carrying a Chaser’s War on Everything “Insecurity” pass with “Joke” written on it. No terrorist could possibly penetrate this iron-clad wall of security.   (Image source & credit: News Corp.)

It was rather amusing too, to see the cast of “The Chaser” get a dose of their own medicine too. Indeed, the shoe was on the other foot. They should indeed consider renaming the show, “The Chasee’s War on Everything” — at least while the courts decide their fate.

As far as breeching security is concerned, either someone in charge of the gates doesn’t quite understand what “joke” means, or they mis-interpreted the number of barks emitted by their guide dogs. If they let through something as blatantly suspect as they did, then I’m afraid they’ve only got themselves to blame. But it seems security is everyone’s problem, and everyone is at fault when it falls down. Unfortunately for the NSW Police, it’s done little other than make them look like fools — and their present attacks only make the hole deeper.

If it’s one thing we can learn from this whole experience, it’s this: don’t go hosting such highly sensitive events in the middle of a busy city. Seriously guys, go somewhere rural where you’ll be miles away from any trouble, and you’re not going to be a right pain in the arse to millions of people. Of course, this would just be common sense, and we all know just how common that is these days.

War of the Operating Systems

Hi All…

Here at uni (Room S825, S-Block, QUT Gardens Point) someone started a drawing of some penguins getting alarmed at a Windows Vista logo on one of the whiteboards. Over time, this little cartoon has evolved, and thus I figured I better get a shot of it before it disappears. It symbolises the battles between various operating systems — mainly the OS zealots. Of course, things aren’t really quite like this, there is quite a bit of co-operation between the various platforms, with a few notable exceptions.
Anyway… here it is… enjoy. 🙂 As always, click the image for an enlarged version.

War of the operating systems

Don’t Touch: Pen Is Stuck

Hi All… I just received this email… Some may have seen it before, and I could’ve just forwarded it to people, but rather than forwarding an email that’s already been forwarded at least 6 times, complete with the email addresses of everyone involved, I figured I’d post it up here.

A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don’t have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note.

About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate. Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don’t always come out the way you want them to…

Pen is Stuck

Hrmm, yes… I’ve heard of people putting their tackle in mighty unusual places, but I wouldn’t rate an office printer as being one of them I’d want to try. Thanks to “Jo” who originally sent the email, and to the chain of people who eventually forwarded it to me (Tim being the last on the chain). Being a bit sore and sorry after a buster on the bus (entirely my fault), I needed the chuckle. 🙂

Idiot Spammers

Hi All…

I normally don’t post privately addressed email, and this especially goes for spam… however, I figured you’d get a kick out of this one. (I’ve broken up some of the long lines here… but otherwise, the email is 100% preserved)

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Yeah… I don’t think I need to add anything to that. 😉

Capt. Obvious: Warning, cutlery sets contain sharp edges and implements

Nah… really?

We recently received this cutlery set as a Christmas present. We appreciate the gift, and will find it very useful. However, one little safety notice really stood out… Have a look at the photos below (click for large image).

Cutlery Set present Cutlery Set warning

Yep, that’s right… apparently they’re not toys for kids either. I would’ve thought this would be common sense … just like the revelation that fires were hot by a workplace health and safety task force in the UK.

Why can’t people use their brains occasionally? Yeah, you know… knife, cuts things… including little kiddies? People really amaze me sometimes. Hope you get as much amusement out of this as I did. 🙂